I dreamt that I died. I felt no pain. There had been no accident.
There were no tears or sadness. No darkness.
No loss.
I couldn’t remember the details of this dream. I just knew that I had died. This feeling haunted me all day.
I couldn’t shake it. It clung to me like a suit of armour.
My thoughts became heavy and dark. I wondered what this all meant. Was I going to die?
In desperation, I took a quiet moment to reflect on the dream. This is the vision that came to me.
My body lay lifeless on the ground. Suddenly it wrinkled like a piece of plastic being exposed to extreme heat. It shrivelled up into itself, folding into my heart.
My heart had not changed. It was stronger than ever, beating with vitality. Fully alive. I could feel the warmth. I could even sense the richness of the brilliant red blood that still fed me.
In slow motion, my heart opened like a beautiful flower opening to the rays of sunshine. I imagined the heavenly scent of fresh spring blossoms. Then, gently, one petal at a time, we expanded into the space around us, rose from the ground and vanished.
I was in awe of this beautiful vision. It was not what I had expected. Could death be so beautiful?
This dream and vision visited me on January 9, 2000. I reflected on them this morning as I was reading through my dream journal. I don’t remember if I ever decided what this dream meant to me back then. What does it mean to me today?
After reading Harmony’s latest post entitled “The Eclipse” at Golden Zen, I see what this dream means to me now.
If we fear our darkest thoughts they will continue to run our lives. But, if we take a moment to stop running and sit with them, we could uncover something special.
Perhaps they are seeds that need a ray of sunshine to grow. And, perhaps they are waiting there in the shadows to empower us beyond our wildest dreams.
28 comments
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August 13, 2008 at 8:28 pm
veredd
This was beautiful! I had a death dream a few years ago but I never took the time to reflect upon what it meant. Thank you for the inspiration.
August 14, 2008 at 12:18 am
Al at 7P
A lot can be said about this dream. I translate it as the seeds of change, and that everything new sprouts from the end of something else. A very powerful dream, indeed!
August 14, 2008 at 4:45 am
Cath Lawson
Davina – What a beautiful post. It’s amazing how something that feels so frightening initially, can turn into a magical experience. I love your interpretation of your dream.
August 14, 2008 at 5:18 am
davinahaisell
Hi Vered. Thanks, and you’re welcome too.
Hi Al. Love your interpretation of this dream. Way cool.
Hi Cath. Thank you. Yes, so it seems that some things are not what they seem to be.
August 14, 2008 at 6:20 am
Barbara Swafford
Hi Davina,
I love your last sentence. It’s beautiful. I also like how by reading Harmony’s post, it made you realize what the 8 year old dream meant. That’s awesome.
August 14, 2008 at 10:03 am
Evelyn Lim
Thanks for sharing such a beautiful post. Dreams or visions of near death experiences have shown me that there is nothing to fear. Our consciousness is all eternal.
August 14, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Melissa Donovan
Isn’t it odd how some dreams linger all day long and others slip away within seconds of waking? Aren’t you glad that you wrote down that dream so many years ago? Now you have me wanting to rekindle my own dream journal. Assuming I can remember my dreams, I just might do that!
August 14, 2008 at 7:44 pm
SpaceAgeSage
“My heart had not changed. It was stronger than ever … ”
The idea of death and rebirth is something I think we all go through as we let go of limiting thoughts and unresolved wounds, moving into a happier and better self. Maybe the mind picks up on this in our dreams.
August 14, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Urban Panther
I work with the tarot. A lot of people get very distressed with the concept of the Death card. I LOVE the Death card. It means that something is about to die off, BUT something new and beautiful will arise from it. It is a natural and exciting cycle.
This post was beautifully written. I could ’see’ your vision.
August 15, 2008 at 1:21 am
Harmony
Isn’t that the truth Davina? Running means the shadows chase us. Stopping allows us to know them, ask what they need to say, and make peace. Blessings.
PS. Death in the circle of nature means that what is naturally decaying becomes fodder for the new life bubbling underneath. I suspect you have some new life in the making!
August 15, 2008 at 6:21 am
davinahaisell
Hi Barbara. Thanks! It is pretty neat how things actually do make sense… even dreams! I suppose in another 8 years this dream might even mean something different.
Hi Evelyn. I do believe that. I don’t fear death itself; just how it will happen.
Hello Melissa. Dreams are fun! I especially like those days when suddenly in the middle of the afternoon something sparks a memory of a dream from the night before, and then it slowly comes back to me.
Hi SpaceAgeSage. I continue to be fascinated with dreams. The stranger the better
Hi Urban Panther. You work with the tarot — neat! I’m intrigued. Thanks for your kind comments.
Hey Harmony. Great insight about the shadows chasing us. How true! “…some new life in the making!”; I’ll accept that!
August 15, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Natural
If i have a death dream, believe me, I’m going to die. Actually last night I saw myself in a car accident….just a matter of time.
My dreams do not play and are pretty accurate. I was extra careful driving last night in the rain.
I don’t want to run with death, sit next to it, talk to it or nothing. I want it to leave me alone and go in the opposite direction.
scared of dying? no..scared of how i might die yes. let’s hope it’s in my sleep and not all over the highway.
August 15, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Jennifer
That was really neat. What a peaceful dream.
I love this last paragraph:
If we fear our darkest thoughts they will continue to run our lives. But, if we take a moment to stop running and sit with them, we could uncover something special.
August 16, 2008 at 1:12 am
Robin Birch
Hi Davina
It’s lovely that you chose to soak up the dream instead of denying it – when I wake up with the taste of an unpleasant dream (I’m not saying yours was), I always lie there and sink into the feelings, and think how it’s great to get those feelings out of my system (a sort of “better out than in” thing).
As you’d know, I don’t think death of the body is beautiful or necessary – but I do think integrating our feelings, whatever they are, is a good thing. I, like Ms Urban, like the death card – it means the end of an era and a new beginning!
August 16, 2008 at 1:45 am
davinahaisell
Hi Natural. Thanks for stopping to add your comments despite wanting “It” to stay away. I’m with you, I hope it’s in my sleep and not for many years to come. Maybe your dream served its purpose by motivating you to be extra careful driving in the rain last night.
Hi Jennifer. Thanks! Glad you enjoyed this.
Hey Robin. I haven’t had a Tarot reading in a while. I used to fear the idea of the death card. I don’t remember ever having it turn up but the anticipation was there. If it happened now, I wouldn’t even blink.
August 16, 2008 at 3:40 am
Monika Mundell
Hi Davina,
What a beautiful way of looking at death in your dream. To me this reflects a new beginning of something tender, like the tendrils of this flower, gently opening its buds in the crisp morning air.
New beginnings are always exciting, yet tender at the same time. Your death dream signifies this.
August 16, 2008 at 5:42 am
davinahaisell
Hey Monika.
I like how you brought tender into this interpretation, and the crisp morning air. That is an awakening in itself
August 16, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Friar
I’ve had this lucid dream, where I’m falling to my death. I see the ground coming up, and I let myself die. Just to see what will happen.
I was surprised to see that when I hit the ground, there was no pain. I was perfectly fine, and walked away.
Now, perhaps there’s a deep sub-concious message that I’m fighting a major obstacle in my life, and I’ve finally had the courage to confront it.
Or maybe it was just a stupid dream.
Either way, it was quite entertaining.
August 16, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Melissa Donovan
@Davina, Yes, I know exactly what you mean.! Suddenly images from last night’s dream pop into your head out of nowhere. I had a dream about a house about a week ago and it’s STILL popping into my mind a couple times a day. It’s so weird and cool.
August 17, 2008 at 10:20 am
Lance
Beautiful Davina. Especially how you’ve summed it up at the end. Death is a dark thought for many. But perhaps there are great things that lie ahead after death – at least that’s what I believe and hope. Still, though, death seems dark to me. Is it because something is ending (life)? Or because I don’t “know” for sure what comes after life? Or because change can be hard, and this is a most major change (life to death)? I think a little of all of these. Your vision is comforting…
August 17, 2008 at 7:16 pm
davinahaisell
Hi Friar. That’s a really cool dream! I’m afraid of heights and of falling but I’d welcome this dream.
Hi Melissa. It’s kinda fun isn’t it?
Magical.
Hey Lance. I’m glad you found the vision comforting. Death is a fearful subject to me too, (especially how it will happen). And, I don’t want my life to end! As difficult as things can get, I still like being here. This vision was comforting to me too in that sense that perhaps there really is no ending.
August 18, 2008 at 4:42 am
Nanny Goats
Wow, I wonder how much this dream ties in with your blog’s name.
August 18, 2008 at 10:44 am
Dr. Cason
Hmmm…I’ve never dreamed I’ve died but I have dreamed I’ve gone off a cliff and the resulting feeling is one of emptiness. Not lonely or sad but just something with a lot of space. I wait for the impact. It never comes.
August 18, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Bamboo Forest
“If we fear our darkest thoughts they will continue to run our lives. But, if we take a moment to stop running and sit with them, we could uncover something special.”
What we fear can control us, good point. Death is a part of the wisdom of life.
August 19, 2008 at 12:39 am
davinahaisell
Hi Nanny Goats. I had to think about that one for a bit. It makes sense when I recall that part about the beating heart continuing to live — that loving pulse.
Hi Dr. Cason. Very interesting dream indeed! Maybe there is no impact. You might be flying.
Hi Bamboo Forest. After I read your comment it made me realize that pretty much everyone fears death. So that means, in most cases, we live our lives avoiding the inevitable. Hmmmm.
September 12, 2008 at 6:54 pm
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[...] I Dreamt I Died [...]
October 29, 2008 at 1:12 am
Alan Laferriere
Hello Big Sister,
As a child (around 5, I think ), I had a reacurring dream.
Frequently I would remember dreaming that I was floating in a blue sky with sunlight but no sun, on my back, hands at my side, and lowering slowly. No ground was noticable, and there were no clouds. As I lowered slowly, there came a point in each dream where I would come to a stop, slowly start hovering to my left, something flat pushed against the length of my body as though I was against a wall. I would then wake up, tight against the wall on the opposite side of my body. My bedroom room was baby blue too, (formerly your room Davina) before you moved south that year.
Just a cool early dream memory I thought I’d share with everyone. I have no idea what it means, I’ve thought of a significance, but have payed no regard. If anyone might know what this dream could mean, it would be interesting to find. I have a few others too, that I’ll save for another time.
Love You Sis,
Al
October 29, 2008 at 6:12 am
davinahaisell
Hi Al.
You have a good recollection of this dream from such a young age. It is definitely an interesting one! I’m glad you shared it here. What does this dream mean to you? Love you too.