You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2008.

Introducing a New Blog: Shades Of Crimson.

After six months, I’m moving to a self-hosted blog and changing the name to Shades of Crimson.

This has been an interesting transition. I have spent two months dealing with technical difficulties. During that time WordPress released three updates. I changed the tag line a half dozen times, spent hours sourcing images and got into a rather uncomfortable discussion in an online support forum.

I’m sure my face turned a few shades of crimson. I’m not always under the influence of a “loving pulse”.

But, as Lance from The Jungle of Life commented on my last post: “I think we all have a little dysfunction! I’m going to embrace that dysfunction this year.”

Taking the Personal out of Personal Development

It’s been said that dysfunction is an illusion designed by the inner critic, who takes things personally. It does a good job at holding a person in a place of judgment and causing them to react defensively. In my experience I’ve fallen into the trap of defining myself based on the inner critic’s direction.

We give too much credit to the inner critic. If it’s an illusion, how can it design anything? Think about that. Which makes me wonder about spirit too. In my humble opinion spirit exists, although I can’t see it any more clearly than I can see the inner critic. Both of these exist as beliefs for me because of experience, and how I have perceived that experience.

Anyway, when those nasty inner voices cloud our vision we are confused because it goes against what we are made of (whatever that is). Our natural instinct for truth and balance runs deep and the inner critic can be convincing. If a person is sensitive this can easily throw them off track.  An internal struggle ensues because their perception of how things are happening doesn’t resonate with their instincts.

This year, I’m inspired to practice experience without expectation. To notice. Some days I will succeed, some days I will fail – two sides of the same coin. But, getting up in the morning to focus on experience rather than accomplishment sheds new light on things. I feel lighter starting the day this way.

Life illustrates different shades of crimson for people. Whether we are enthusiastically inspired by our experience – resonance, or feeling resistant and judgmental – dissonance.

There is only one outcome we can count on in life. What lies between now and then is experience – the ultimate accomplishment.

I continue to be inspired by the blogs I read and the comments that are shared here. Thanks for a conversational 2008. I appreciate the time each and every one of you take to read and comment because the blogosphere is certainly a busy place.

These bloggers have stepped up to share advice and offer support over the last few months and I want to thank you here and now. I’m eternally grateful to all of you.

Catherine – Cath Lawson Blog

Robin – Let’s Live Forever

Vered – MomGrind

Evelyn – Attraction Mind Map

Stacey – Create A Balance

Monika – Freelance Writing

Sara – Sara Healy

Patricia – Patricia’s Wisdom

Kathy – Virtual Impax

And I must add Barbara to this list from Blogging Without A Blog. Six months ago I learned how to add a gravatar to Loving Pulse, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember how to do it for the new blog. I did a couple of quick searches online and didn’t get the fast information I wanted. So, it was over to her blog where I had it all figured out in 5 minutes. Thanks Barbara!

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Project Announcement — The Quote Effect: A Blogger’s Online Collection

What type of blogger are you? Inspirational? Sarcastic? Humourous? Professional? Let’s put our heads together and get ready for some creative fun!

Join me at Shades Of Crimson to find out more about this project. While Loving Pulse will stay put, comments are closed on this post.

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If this is your first time visiting Loving Pulse and you enjoyed the reading, please join me over at Shades Of Crimson. Subscribe to the feed and you won’t miss upcoming posts. All new comments will go into moderation.

And please, bear with me. I’m new to the whole world of self-hosted blogs and not a computer geek. There may be the odd glitch as I get things up and running and have a few design elements customized. If you have any problems commenting or navigating please let me know; visit the Contact page.

Image entitled Happiness, photographed by Branko Korelc; property of Dreamstime.com. Used here with permission. Illegal download and usage not allowed.

21578917_08ca661e47_mSomewhere, someone is having a perfect Christmas, filled with chestnuts roasting and sleigh bells ringing…

Screw ’em.

Most of us are having just the opposite: a nutcrackin’ nightmare of anger, hurt feelings, evil in-laws, and carbs beyond counting. A time when grudges grow and gasses pass. A time of maxed-out credit cards and a ham that the vegetarians are ready to hurl through the frosty window.

Evil little brothers, pregnant tattooed sisters, horny dogs, and cross-dressing dads – they’re all here, ready to spread their Christmas cheer.

So untangle the lights, spill some eggnog, and gather ’round the place where happier families would have a piano.

Let’s sing to the tune of  “O Come All Ye Faithful”…

O come meet the family, bad breeding triumphant;
O come meet the family dysfunctional.
Come and behold them. As they brag and fight and whine.
For it’s a celebration, of Christmas aggravation.
And if you’re no relation, just thank the Lord.

Ok, now I have to admit that I didn’t write this. I WISH I could take credit for it, because it makes a dysfunctional family sound a lot lighter. And it made me smile. How about you?

Will you still be smiling on Christmas Day when you are spending time with your family? I hope you are. But if you aren’t, here is something to consider.

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It’s only one day. Make the best of it. If memories of family holidays past are less than desirable, switch the channel.

That’s right. Choose a new program. Take a new perspective.

You can’t change these people, but you can change how you look at them.

If your mean aunt is lecturing you again about how you chose the wrong career, you might be annoyed and want to tell her what to do with her advice. Or, you might ask yourself, “What’s another way I could look at this?”

You could choose to see her in a more positive light; “She really cares about me and only means well.”

Or use this strategy. Accentuate her rottenness; “She doesn’t have a life poor thing and that is why she has so much energy to spend on criticizing other people.” You might end up feeling something different for that aunt of yours.

And if you do react badly you can still switch your channel. Don’t feel badly about how you may have acted. Tell yourself that you will do better next time and don’t hold on to the feelings. Don’t beat yourself up. Your aunt can do that better right? Ask yourself what you have learned.

Usually when someone is criticizing you, if you feel a reaction there is some learning there for you. If there is no learning, then it will fly right past you.

If this does change things for you, then you will be stronger than the day before. Stronger for the next time.

And if none of this works at least you will have kept yourself busy and before you know, it will be time to go home.

This quote from Joubert Joseph is what inspired this post.

“He who has not the weakness of friendship has not the strength.”

I wish all of you the best Christmas that you can SEE for yourself. And take the best of that into the new year.

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Introduction and revised lyrics to O Come All Ye Faithful was taken from The Dysfunctional Family Christmas Songbook, written by John Boswell and Leonore Skenazy.

Photo credits: Kittenagogo’s photostream from Flickr.com

So, oh come all ye faithful and share your comments. Maybe myself or my readers can help you shed some light on a rotten relative!

If this is your first time visiting Loving Pulse and you enjoyed the reading, don’t forget to subscribe to the feed so you don’t miss upcoming posts. Click on Subscribe to Feed on the home page and follow the prompts.

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An Authentic Self Connects With Her Future Self

Hello everyone. This is a Guest Post written by a personal friend of mine.

I’d like to introduce you to Deanna. She works in community health care with older adults as a Case Manager.

Like so many of us, she has been on a quest to connect with her life purpose and to apply it in her everyday life.

As an avid reader and promoter of self-development, she has struck out on her journey with determination.

She employed life coaching services with Crimson Compass and was guided on a Future Self meditation.

This is an inner journey where a person is invited to imagine the possibilities beyond the limits they’ve imposed; beyond what they believe is realistic. The Future Self is the core self that a person is becoming on the path to fulfillment.

This journey taps into the intuitive, internal knowing and enables a person to bring this clarity into the light of their current lives.

It’s a challenge to solve problems and achieve goals while feeling influenced by troubling or confusing life circumstances. Having a Future Self identity will give a person a persona to step into to reflect on their life from a different perspective.

Deanna has been exploring this idea on her quest to come up with a Life Purpose Statement and while reflecting on this, she was inspired to write this story. I have ask for her permission to share it.

If you have comments for Deanna, she would be excited to be a blogger for a day and respond to them. And so here, unedited, is Deanna’s story.

The Story of the Wooden Chest

There’s a chest, a big, clunky wooden chest, upstairs in the attic. I’ve just discovered it. Or perhaps, more truthfully, I’ve only noticed that it’s always been there. I can’t decide if I should be surprised, but somehow I don’t think I am.

The attic isn’t familiar to me. It’s not a room in the house where I currently live and I don’t recognize this space. And yet, this attic, this place where the chest resides, is welcoming me and it seems perfectly natural that I should be here.

The chest is old. But then again, I’m not very adept at determining the age of anything, so it’s easy for me to say ‘it’s old’. But it is; it just looks old. Like it’s been sitting in this spot forever, waiting to be found.

The top is steeply curved, which gives it an overall appearance of something rather large and imposing. But the colour is a deep, rich brown, and it is rather inviting. There are wide metal straps embedded on the top and sides, seeming to hold it together, although I’m not sure these are terribly necessary. It gives me no clue that it’s about to fall apart.

The wood itself is nothing exotic, like mahogany or some other rare or extinct species of wood. It’s just brown, ordinary wood, but nevertheless very appealing in a basic and solid kind of way. Like you’d expect an old friend to be, a little weathered and worn, but familiar and waiting to tell you a grand story about where he’s just been.

I have a lantern in my hand. It’s kind of old fashioned in itself, and not a typical thing I’d carry with me into an attic. Usually I’d have a flashlight, but somehow a flashlight seems poorly suited to the job. The lantern seems just the right thing for me to carry, and it surprises me I knew that. I didn’t have to think about it.

However, I notice that I really don’t need much of a light at all, because the chest is sitting near a small, rectangular shaped window, letting in the right amount of diffuse, soft early afternoon light. The warm glow of the lantern was more than enough to get me here, so I extinguish it.

It seems odd to me that there isn’t a lot of clutter or piles of old junk around this chest. Not much by way of cobwebs, dust or litter either. It’s rather quiet, neat, and tidy up here. There’s just the chest and me alone together, in this space.

I pause for a little while. Shall I open the lid? Of course I know I will. It seems to me this is what I’m supposed to do. Why the hesitation? Out of respect perhaps, it occurs to me. What’s the hurry, after all?

I examine the front of the chest, looking for a lock, and although there is a latch, it opens easily, without a key. I lift the latch and push back on the lid, so the top is fully open. I remain on my knees, in front of the chest. I don’t feel the urge to stand. This works well. I’m comfortable.

I’m not sure if it’s the light from the window or something else in my eyes, but now there seems to be something bright and rather all encompassing in front of me. It takes me a few minutes to realize it’s coming from inside the chest.

When I look more closely, it occurs to me it’s mostly a simple, pure light that I see. But it’s not blinding. It’s soft and yet is sufficient to illuminate the entire inside of the chest. At first glance, I can’t see anything beyond the light. When I focus, I begin to make out a blue striped fabric lining, and the outline of a few objects.

The first object is a collection of five to six glass marbles. They seem fairly average in appearance to me. But I pick them up and roll them around in the palm of my hand. They feel cool and smooth to the touch and seem to be telling me to ensure I have some fun. The kind of fun you have when you’re little, and not too worried about much of anything.

Then I notice, and how could I not, the rather large hand quilted blanket in the right hand side of the chest, occupying a good bit of space. I take it out, and see that someone has put a great deal of effort into piecing this together. Is this especially for me? What a comforting thought! I dare not wrap it around my shoulders, just yet. Maybe I’m supposed to wait for something, to use it at its best.

My eyes stray to an elongated cardboard box, not quite standard paper size, and only a couple of inches high. When I open it, there are several sheets of blank paper, finely textured, pearl white, demanding thoughtful recording. It occurs to me that I’m simply required to ‘be reflective’.

Then I see another small, square box in the far left hand corner of the chest. When I open this one, there are several ‘nuggets’ that for some reason I immediately recognize as fuel for my lamp. I also know that this is enough fuel to last indefinitely, to light my way and for others who follow. Isn’t that amazing?

Ah ha, so now I understand what’s going on. This is a chest of gifts dedicated to self-care. My wise future self sent this to me, knowing that in order to be a guide to others on my journey I must first take good care of myself.

* * * * * * * *

Imagine that you have come across a wooden chest in your attic. When you lift the lid, what items are waiting there to support you?

Or, if you were going to put items into it that symbolize your strengths what would they be?

* * * * * * * *

Meet Your Future Self – FREE

Receive a 20-minute meditation  (long distance fees not included). Includes a 15-minute debrief and a transcript of your notes.

To schedule an appointment send an email to crimsoncompass@gmail.com with Future Self in the subject line. Promotion ends January 31, 2009.

Setting a New Year’s Resolution for 2009?

This special deal would be perfect to support your efforts!

Within two weeks after receiving your Future Self meditation choose one 30-minute follow-up coaching session at a 50% discount. Session includes:

1. Goal-setting for 2009.
2. Tips on how to connect with your Future Self to support your goal.
3. A written summary with accountability steps included.
4. Within two weeks, a follow-up email or 15-minute phone call to review steps you have taken towards achieving your goal. We’ll look at what is or isn’t working.

The cost for all this is just $35. Offer ends January 31, 2009.

If this is your first time visiting Loving Pulse and you enjoyed the reading, don’t forget to subscribe to the feed so you don’t miss upcoming posts. Click on Subscribe to Feed on the home page and follow the prompts.

2445294078_d52c27474c_m911 changed the way we looked at the world didn’t it? It changed our perspectives on a lot of things.

And now we’re closing out 2008 while facing a season of extreme uncertainty in our financial world.

A new season is upon us and it is a challenging time, fearful for many. As human beings it is our nature to avoid pain, but without anything to push against, we build no muscle. In this regard, fear can be a valuable ally.

By conquering crisis, we can find that hero within. If you think back to those times when you conquered challenges and what you learned from them, you will recognize that you had an opportunity to sculpt your soul. You experienced a cycle of growth.

This new season feels like winter doesn’t it? The days are dark and it seems this time in our lives will last forever, frozen in time. But don’t forget that life has cycles, just like the seasons. After winter comes spring, a time of growth and renewal.

Crisis isn’t new. We’ve come through other troubled times such as The Great Depression and two World Wars. Other seasons. Other times.

We can’t necessarily control these events, but we can control what they mean to us. We can decide what we will do with it, what perspective we will take. We can participate in our own rescue.

There are 5 steps you can take to deal with a crisis.

Make a decision The word decision means to cut off from. When you can find meaning in the experience you make the decision to not let the external world hold you hostage. When you get to that point where you say “Enough!”, that is the point where you take back your power.

Loss in the external world can’t take away your internal world. You can rebuild that by focusing on what you can do to find a sense of purpose. What can you do to contribute to a sense of connection in your world? How do you do that?

Be resourceful Fear is always there, so face it. When it brings us to a point of anger and overwhelm it is a call to action. Something is telling us that THIS is not good enough for us and it is time for a change. There are two ways to be resourceful.

1. Get physical. Fear is physical. So is faith, courage and empowerment. We use our body in a specific way in each of these states. When you are in a state of fear your brain is being held hostage. You can’t deal with fear in your mind. Emotion is created by motion.

Do a workout. Take a power walk. Do something to take yourself out of the state of hiding. Exercise changes physiology and again, emotion is created by motion. When you change your physiology you can change your mind in a heartbeat. Don’t do it once! Make it a ritual during this crisis. Attack the crisis. Will you think about fear? Or faith? What are you feeding your mind?

2. Feed your mind with what will strengthen you. We are what we consume mentally. Whatever we focus on continuously we feel. Eventually we hit a tipping point, the emotional storm. Your brain becomes frozen.

Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Focus on moments you remember that brought you excitement, joy, comfort and a sense of accomplishment. What we do is shaped by what we feel. It can change in a moment. Don’t let fear dominate you; it will cause you to freeze. Too much pain is the power of crisis; it causes you to do something. What can you do?

Create a vision Get clear about what is important to you. What is it you value? If you don’t know, think about what you desire the least. Get revved up about that and use that energy to turn it around to focus on what you do want.

Expand on your vision by finding an example of someone you admire who has been successful. Know that when someone succeeds consistently they’re not lucky, they’ve simply found a pattern that works.

Find a proven plan Success leaves clues. Model somebody who has made it through a crisis. How did they handle it? What steps did they take. What resources did they use? Because crisis has been done before, there is a pathway to power. Other people have found their way through it.

Take action Success is a matter of good judgment, which comes from experience. And guess what? Experience comes from bad judgment. A first plan usually fails, but the quicker you get to that stage the quicker you get your feedback and can move on to the next stage. If you don’t get off the fence you won’t get anywhere.

You don’t have to do this alone. Find a partner, someone who has knowledge or skills that complement yours. Keep each other accountable for the steps you are taking. Two heads are better than one.

Decisions control our life. This crisis will make us look for tools and we will become more resourceful. What we do is shaped by what we feel, and emotion is created by motion.

* * * * * * * *

Do you recall a time in your life when you went through a crisis? How did you support yourself?

Looking back, were you able to see how it changed the course of your life in a positive way?

What do you choose to see for yourself in the new year; the new season in your life?

Note: Credit for this post goes to one of my favourite life coaches, Anthony Robbins. I have transcribed this information from a recent 50-minute audio clip that is part of a series he has created called Learn How To Turn Crisis Into Opportunity. When you click this link on his website you will be prompted to leave your email address and you will be sent his FREE audio programs that include an interview with billionaire Sir John Templeton.

I highly recommend listening to Tony’s audio programs. His enthusiasm is contagious. Let’s spread it around!

Visit his website for more information. And as Tony says, “Live your life with passion!”

If this is your first time visiting Loving Pulse and you enjoyed the reading, don’t forget to subscribe to the feed so you don’t miss upcoming posts. Click on Subscribe to Feed on the home page and follow the prompts.

Photo Credit: Londa Elle

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