While I waited for my senses to surrender to sleep, I listened to the wind whispering through the trees outside my window.

I felt connected. Complete. I drifted off to sleep while other senses were awakened.

The wind was the last thing I remembered before waking from a dream. In this dream I was dressed in army fatigues and being held prisoner. I was not alone and eventually helped the other person to escape.

I awoke from the dream slowly, still looking through the eyes of that person who had remained behind. Interestingly that person no longer felt like a prisoner.

I had this dream while preparing to write this article and feeling the frustration of writer’s block. How could I write about living a balanced life when I was struggling with it myself? Nothing I wrote felt right. I had become so attached to the outcome of the article I wasn’t letting the creativity flow. I was disconnected. What was interesting about this dream was my interpretation. The person who had been set free was my creative muse.

My thoughts returned to the connection I had felt while listening to the wind. I knew there was an answer there. Memories of other times I felt connected swam through my mind and I relaxed into knowing what living a balanced life meant to me.

Seeing a shooting star. Catching a snowflake. Watching the sunrise on a misty morning. Admiring a rainbow. Smelling the new cherry blossoms in springtime.

These are things that fill me up. They are without expectation. And because I am not attached to the outcome I can be more fully in the moment. Nature does that for me. It wakes me up. It inspires that feeling of being connected. When I feel connected I also feel balanced.

We have become separated from the natural flow of life in an effort to control it. Calendars and schedules attempt to balance our daily activities, yet we still run in circles seemingly getting nowhere. We have created this world and yet it controls us. We are out of rhythm and less flexible because we depend on these schedules to tell us where to be and when.

Life has a schedule of its own and it unfolds as we are trying to fold it up, throw it into a briefcase and run for the next subway train. We don’t even see where we’re running because subconsciously we’ve already reached our destination.

Because we have become so disconnected with our natural rhythm we feel unfulfilled. This brings an unconscious desire to fill a void. And fill it we do – with things. But it’s never enough is it?

Trouble is, the more things we collect the more complicated our lives become and the more out of control we feel. It is a never-ending cycle.

You can stop the cycle. Here are five suggestions.

1. Feel your connection: Balance is achieved through connection. What are you doing when you feel connected? See it in your mind and remember how it feels. When you feel out of control, revisiting this feeling can stop you from living ahead of yourself. It brings you back into the moment. When you are in the moment you are less likely to be distracted.

2. Honour your values: When you know what your ultimate goal is (the big picture), hold it in your intent but don’t become attached to it. Working with values gives a person the ability to make more powerful and appropriate choices about how to reach their goal.

Finding rhythm in attaining a goal comes through knowing that each step is connected to the other; like a dance. They’re not separate actions to be scheduled in a specific order. They naturally support and feed each other with little effort. One clue that you are not honouring your values is through your internal dialogue. See #3.

3. Choose your dialogue: Be aware of how you talk and think. What words are you choosing? When you say, “I should” or “I have to” you are putting pressure on yourself. Or, perhaps what you are trying to accomplish is not of value to you and you shouldn’t waste your time on it. If it is important, choose more empowering words such as “I want to” or “I will”. They’re less likely to cause resistance to action.

4. Practice meditation: Simply put, meditation encourages clarity. We aren’t scattered because there are too many distractions. It’s because we are not focused that we notice the distractions. When a person is not focused they are more vulnerable to outside influences. Responding to people and circumstances takes a back seat, while reacting takes the front.

5. Focus on fulfillment: Fulfillment surrenders to balance. As I mentioned earlier, when we are not feeling fulfilled we unconsciously try to fill a void with things we believe will fill us up. When a life is built on false beliefs any perceived balance is fragile and short-lived. I’ve had days where my life seems as organized as it can be, but find myself feeling restless. Something is missing. Things appear to be balanced, but I’m not fulfilled.

One thing to remember. If you’ve ever tried to stand on one leg you’ve noticed that balance fluctuates. That means if you aren’t flexible you’ll end up a prisoner of your own controlled efforts.

Wake up to your senses and they will lead you to the fulfillment that designs a balanced life.


This article is my submission to the Life Balance Group Writing Project over at Create A Balance blog.

Please share your comments below and if you enjoyed this article don’t forget to subscribe to the feed so you don’t miss any upcoming posts.

Photo Credit: Alison Lyons Photography

Liz Strauss at Successful Blog has asked her readers to think about community, connectedness, being linked together, synchronicity, serendipity and oneness.

And then she gave us this challenge.

Put our thoughts into a sentence or phrase of exactly 25 words, illustrating how we each believe bloggers are connected.

Here are my 25 words.




A blogger’s words may grow icy with frost;

a published presence, subscriptions lost.

But wireless pathways and creative minds,

share colourful comments that forever bind.


I had no idea what was going to bounce off the keyboard when I started this.

But, while playing with the words and the rhymes an idea started to take shape. This poem/meme has given voice to a not so frosty post over at The Writer’s Manifesto Blog, entitled “Do You Really Care About Your RSS Feed”.

In this rant of a post Monika says, “Personal interaction is worth so much more than awe-inspiring RSS feed subscription numbers.”

In her comment section I shared that, “I recently unsubscribed from one blog because the blogger rarely replied to comments. You know what that’s like? Going to a party where all the guests sit around in the living room chatting, eating snacks, waiting for the host or hostess who never shows up.”

I enjoy replying to comments and reading the playful and sarcastic banter in the comments section on other blogs. I get excited when my subscriber count goes up too.

But personally, I get greater satisfaction from connecting with readers and other bloggers through our comments. Blogging would be pretty boring without that.

My next post has yet to be given a title. It is a submission to the Life Balance Group Writing Project and if you want to participate there is still time. The deadline is October 26th.

Please share your comments below and if you enjoyed this article don’t forget to subscribe to the feed so you don’t miss any upcoming posts.

Photo Credit: Mark Wakefield

This is my contribution to Blog Action Day 08 – Poverty.

“Prosperity is not just having things. It is the consciousness that attracts the things. Prosperity is a way of living and thinking, and not just having money or things. Poverty is a way of living and thinking, and not just a lack of money or things.”

– Eric Butterworth

Poverty consciousness is about more than money. It arises from the fear of not having enough.

It causes us to deny ourselves material possessions and on the other extreme, we may buy things for ourselves and regret it after. It is about the limiting belief that there are consequences for spending money.

The number of material possessions you have is not reflective of your relationship with money; your attachment to them is.

The best time to challenge yourself and break through poverty consciousness is when you feel the fear of not having enough. Now would be the perfect time if you are experiencing uncertainty during these times of unstable money markets. 

Now obviously I’m not suggesting going on a spending spree when funds are lower than the norm, but I do suggest buying that item you would normally avoid buying because of the circumstances.

This scenario has played out a number of times in my own life.

Please continue reading on page 2. 



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A Tribute To
Loving Pulse Readers

Here at 49°16 N & 123°07 W we are closing in on the Thanksgiving Day weekend. It is nicely coincidental that I planned this post for this time.

Although I usually post on Thursday evenings I can’t wait any longer so this one is launching a day earlier.

To start off, I want to share a fun passage that I read years ago and hung onto because I loved it so much…

If the Earth were only a few feet in diameter, floating a few feet above a field somewhere, people would come from everywhere to marvel at it.

People would walk around it, marveling at its big pools of water, its little pools and the water flowing between the pools.

People would marvel at the bumps on it and the holes in it, and they would marvel at the very thin layer of gas surrounding it and the water suspended in the gas.

The people would marvel at all the creatures walking around the surface of the ball, and at the creatures in the water. The people would declare it as sacred because it was the only one and they would protect it so that it would not be hurt.

The ball would be the greatest wonder known, and people would come to pray to it, to be healed, to gain knowledge, to know beauty and to wonder how it could be.

People would love it, and defend it with their lives because they would somehow know that their lives, their own roundness, could be nothing without it.

If the Earth were only a few feet in diameter.

Author unknown

Obviously the Earth is more than a few feet in diameter and thankfully, the blogosphere has given us the opportunity to connect from around the globe.

I wanted to list all my readers here but the list is long and so, to keep the length of this post manageable I chose to let the numbers do the talking.

On page 2 you will find a list of the top ten commenters on Loving Pulse where I have highlighted 20 posts from their blogs. You won’t want to miss reading such posts as “How to Be a Man and a Woman Both at the Same Time”, “Bye-Bye Birdie”, and “Was I Talking About You?”…

Please continue reading on page 2.

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Luny Landing won first place in the Master Team Sculptor’s category in the World Championship sand sculpture event. This event was hosted in Harrison Hot Springs in British Columbia, Canada.

Artists from around the world went to great lengths to build these sculptures to withstand the elements and remain show worthy for the public and of course, the judges.

From the most artistic design to the smallest, most intricate detail, this show of more than 70 sculptures was a pleasure to see. It was quite clear that these artists had realized and embraced their passion for creativity.

Please continue reading on page 2.

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I thought this was a nice t-shirt when I bought it.

I believe in living as a free spirit so this was the perfect T.

A free spirit has been defined as a person who lives by their wishes and beliefs and who is unconstrained by society’s rules.

My definition of a free spirit is someone who is powerful, happy and free. Someone who embodies the spiritual, who is full of love and all that colourful loveliness of being alive. Oh, la-di-da!

Pollyanna step aside.

I’ve been kidding myself. I have only dreamed about being a free spirit.

I aspire to live unconstrained by society’s conventions because I want to hide in my safe little box. I’m afraid (no, I BELIEVE) I’m not good enough to belong anywhere!

This is a pattern I’ve lived with for most of my life, and I’ve kept my spirit contained because of it. Sad!

In grade seven I was ostracized by a group of girls. We would stand in a circle at recess and talk. Well, most of us talked. I just listened. I was very shy, afraid to talk and afraid to be seen.

One day, one of the girls approached me and told me they didn’t want me hanging around with them anymore. I was devastated and spent the next five years in school looking for some sign that anyone might like me, that I belonged and that someone wanted to be my friend. I wanted an invitation.

I suffered in silence. The only person I spoke to about this was my mother, and that was only because she saw me running from the school bus one afternoon in tears. I ran straight to my room and she followed.

“Nobody likes me,” I sobbed in answer to her concerned inquiry. I can’t remember what her response was. I just remember sobbing uncontrollably and she eventually left without a word.

I went to therapy to heal this wound but the pain never went away. Why? I kept making those girls responsible for my pain. A part of me still wanted to believe they were insensitive cruel bitches (that felt good!), but I know now as an adult that kids will be kids.

The reality was that I was already in pain before being ostracized. I believed then that I didn’t belong and I didn’t have anything to offer. That was why I stood in silence in that circle during recess. In a sense I was using them to keep up an appearance. Why shouldn’t they kick me out? I was their weakest link.

What happened was only a reflection of my belief system. Thinking back, I didn’t dispute this with those girls. I accepted that there was something wrong with me and continued to live my life in a box, afraid to be seen.

So how can I free my spirit?

Somehow I don’t think that ripping this t-shirt off while walking along a busy downtown sidewalk is the answer.

I’m still learning that living as a free spirit doesn’t require an invitation from anyone but myself. It needs to be exercised and that will not happen while living in a box. And, there is no la-di-da here either.

These are 10 actions I believe will exercise the spirit into remembering the freedom that is its birthright.

  • Take the self and everyone else less seriously.
  • Make rules and then break them.
  • Make lots of mistakes; laugh at and learn from them.
  • Stop trying to have everyone else conform to my rules.
  • Give other people permission to be themselves and make their own mistakes.
  • Respond, don’t react.
  • Let creativity speak and listen to it; practice what inspires you because that strengthens the spirit.
  • Get out of the head and follow the heart more; practice to learn the difference.
  • Envision myself as already living as a free spirit.
  • Take my place in the circle; recognize that I have gifts to share and just share them!

I will leave you with this quote that a friend shared with me just today. “Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

As for that box I mentioned, are you in or out? How has this affected your life?

Please share your comments below and if you enjoyed this article don’t forget to subscribe to my feed. My next post is entitled “Creative Luny Landing in the Sand”.

Photo Credit: Davina Haisell

If you are a new visitor to Loving Pulse, welcome and thanks for stopping by!

And, hi to all you regular readers. I have appreciated your comments and support over the past few months.

A big thanks to Barbara at Blogging Without A Blog for choosing Loving Pulse as New Blog of the Week (NBOTW). I am, as the title of this post suggests, “Over The Moon”.

When I started posting in June, Barbara was the first to leave a comment and she has continued to visit and comment since then. 

I had no idea how much time was involved when I first started this practice but thankfully, I have learned a lot from Blogging Without A Blog. Barbara shares helpful tips and information to make blogging easier for all of us. If you are a new blogger, spend some time reading through her archives.

I have connected with a huge number of other bloggers who read and comment on Barbara’s blog, and learned from many of them too.

At Loving Pulse I write about what moves me. Like the moon, we all have a dark side and a sunny side. I explore this through my own experience with the hopes of inspiring readers to do the same for themselves.

My most recent article entitled Stepping Out Of These Old Shoes is about facing, or not facing changes in life.

My upcoming article to be posted this Friday is entitled Free Spirit My Ass!

Feel free to visit my Favourite Posts page where I have showcased some of my favourites.

I will sign off now with a quote from Les Brown.

“Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars.”


Please share your comments below and if you don’t want to miss my upcoming posts, don’t forget to subscribe to my feed.

Photo Credit: Davina Haisell

This is my foot, happily posing on a dock at Lakeside Campground in Sasquatch Provincial Park, in mid September.

I am one of the last people I know who puts my sandals away in the fall and one of the first to bring them out in the springtime. Going barefoot is my preference.

I enjoy shopping for shoes, but I’ve realized that it is more about dreaming of finding that perfect pair, rather than buying them.

Let me tell you, this is no easy accomplishment. Even more challenging is letting go of that favourite pair of shoes.

You know the ones. You’d hardly recognize them from that early honeymoon period when you shared blisters, walks in the rain and walks across sandy beaches.

Their wear and tear boasts miles travelled together with accumulated sentimental value. They are comfortable. They fit like a glove and in all actuality, they shine more than the newest shoes in your closet. You tend to reach for them before you reach for the newer ones.

Children change and grow out of their shoes quickly but as adults we can wear the same pair of shoes for years. Buying a new pair of shoes has always been a challenge for me.

I often find myself window shopping, dreaming about finding that next pair of perfect shoes and being frustrated by yet another unsuccessful shopping trip. But, I wonder if subconsciously I don’t really want to find that new pair of shoes?

I have friends who wear a variety of styles and colours, both new and old. What I’ve also noticed is that these friends are vibrant and enthusiastic and walk headfirst into change in their lives.

I don’t enjoy change. I like comfort and I like familiar. What is interesting is that I continue to explore and cultivate my own personal growth, forgetting that this inevitably brings change.

Change gives me blisters and so I prefer going barefoot.

To my credit, I enjoy memories and appreciating how far I’ve come.

In the movie The Wizard of Oz, the shoes that Dorothy wore and whose heels she clicked together while saying “There’s no place like home,” were brilliant, red sparkling shoes. They created magic.

So, all I have to do is focus on taking more steps into the future rather than dreaming about it. Maybe then I’ll have some successful shopping trips and be able to add some brilliant new pairs of shoes to my closet. And even better, maybe we can enjoy that honeymoon period without any blisters!

Please share your comments below and if you enjoyed this article be sure to subscribe to my feed.


A grandfather from the Cherokee nation was talking with his grandson.

“A fight is going on inside of me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.”

“One wolf is evil and ugly: (I call this the Dark Wolf). He is anger, envy, war, greed, selfishness and arrogance.”

“The other wolf is beautiful and good: (I call this the White Wolf). He is friendly, joyful, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, justice, fairness, empathy, generosity, true, compassion, gratitude, and deep VISION.”

“This same fight is going on inside you and inside every other human as well.”

The grandson paused in deep reflection because of what his grandfather had just said. Then he finally cried out, “Oyee! Grandfather, which wolf will win?”

The grandfather replied, “The wolf that you feed.”

This is a nice sentiment, and I get what the grandfather is saying. But I’m not fond of the reference to this “terrible fight” that is going on inside of us.

In Robin Birch’s recent post on her blog Let’s Live Forever!, she writes,

“I like to think that when more people reach for the light, in any of a myriad of ways, and this becomes commonplace, a shift will occur in our mass consciousness.”

I support this idea wholeheartedly. Reaching for the light or the positive side of life is not about running from or fighting the dark. I don’t believe it has to be a struggle.

I admit to having dark thoughts and to resisting them. These thoughts are the work of my inner critic and fighting them exhausts me. But nevertheless they exist.

I enjoy believing that the dark is simply a shadow cast by the light. Anything that gets in the way of sunshine, casts a shadow. And although our shadows follow us, they are not real. They exist because we do. We cast those shadows ourselves.

In a recent post I wrote “If we fear our darkest thoughts they will continue to run our lives.”

Fighting a dark thought will feed it. Noticing a dark thought doesn’t feed it. In fact, by taking the time to see it and perhaps shed some light on it, an understanding can be reached. Understanding it means getting to know it; no longer having to fear the unknown. There is no duality here, and no fight. Vision is empowered and clarity moves us forward.

How do you handle your dark side?

Do you catch yourself believing what your inner critic tells you?

The next time your inner critic casts a shadow across your path what will you tell it?

If you enjoyed this article be sure to subscribe to my feed.

Photo Credit: Unknown

Summer is coming to a close and that means spending more time inside.

If you have a significant other, more time together could mean more time for kissing. Maybe?

Visit William Cane’s The Art of Kissing Blog, for some tips on how to pucker up.

Here are five French Kissing techniques he shares.

1. Flicker the tips of your tongues.
2. Rotate tongues in circular motions.
3. Play chase back & forth.
4. Suck your partner’s tongue.
5. Gently bite their tongue.

Are you moved to read on?

I thought so!

Do you remember your first kiss? I do. My heart was beating so fast I thought I might faint.

I like kissing, although I haven’t been fond of French Kissing. Back then, I could never understand what all the fuss was about.

I didn’t enjoy having that slimy thing invading my mouth. That appendage seemed to take on a life of its own. “Don’t guys know how to control these things?” I wondered as it poked around in my mouth.

I forgot I was kissing and focused just on that tongue thing. Not very romantic. But, after doing a bit of reading and research for this post there might be some hope for me and French Kissing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that kissing is subject to personal preference. A couple has to find out what each other likes.

Practice makes perfect. Lots of practice.

I prefer light and playful feathery kisses that tease and spark their way into a raging fire. Ok, I’m not going to go off on a slutty romance novel writing kick here, I promise. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

As for French Kissing, after reading William Kane’s suggested techniques, I’m certainly willing to parlez with that tongue again.

What about you? Do you care to kiss and tell?

If you enjoyed this article be sure to subscribe to my feed. My upcoming post is entitled “Are You Afraid of the Dark?”

Photo Credit: Unknown

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